The Most Admired Man I've Yet To Meet

This week I got a phone call from a very concerned sounding mother.  It just so happened that the mother on the phone was my own.  We’ve been on the go quite a bit in the past three weeks and she was checking in to see what I was up to.  Specifically, she was calling to make sure I had received a card that my dad sent me in the mail around Father’s Day.  I wanted to say yes, but I could tell that I needed to provide an accurate answer.  So, I replied, “That doesn’t ring a bell.”  I promised that as soon as I got inside I would check the mail stacks and locate the card.  Fortunately, the card was among several other parcels that came by post the previous week.  My dad is a sentimental man.  I’m resisting the urge to sing out loud song from the Broadway hit "Wicked" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHOw8Q0oYag "A Sentimental Man" in the middle of Chick-fil-a where I’m writing today.  Contained within the Father’s Day card for me was a letter sharing some things we never got to experience for ourselves about his dad, Nathan V. Frymire.  I’ve heard my dad share a few of the things on the list, but I was really grateful for the look into some of the things that distinguished my grandpa from some other men I’ve known over the years.  I also really enjoyed reading some things that I felt like I could identify with.  The list enhanced my anticipation for our reunion in Heaven one day.   Here are just a few of the things I admired and identified with the most from my dad’s list about his dad.

• Racism was not a part of his life.  He never, in front of me, spoke a racial term.
• In today’s cultural climate I’m so thankful I got a head start loving my brothers and sisters of a different shade from my grandpa.

• At night, I used to hear him singing in an opera voice in the back bathroom.  Somewhere he gained an appreciation for it.
• Lots of people probably wish I would keep my opera singing contained to the back bathroom.  Who knew it was genetic?  I’m sure grandpa’s was better.

• I do not think he ever missed one of my home basketball games.  He would sit in the stands with his paper and pencil and keep stats.
• My dad took it to another level and hardly missed any of my games home or away.  I was not always the easiest to watch either.  Sometimes I played so hard I forgot to play smart and the dumb fouls really frustrated my dad.  I appreciate the sacrifice my dad made to drive all those miles dodging deer through the back roads of northwest Florida traveling to those small school gyms. 

• Every night, if you walked by a back bedroom, he could b heard praying as he knelt by the bed.
• I would have loved to hear this.  My buddy Brien talks about his grandfather’s faith.  I share this with pride and look to imitate it in my home so it will be said after I’m gone one day.

• He was a committed, dedicated and faithful father.
• I saw this in my dad and I’m trying to carrying it on with my boys.

I know I missed out by not getting to know my grandpa.  I titled the blog “The Most Admired Man I’ve Yet To Meet.”  We met.  I was just too young to remember.  I anticipate a reunion one day with lots of catching up.  Thanks daddy for sharing your dad with us this Father’s Day.  I love you. 

Would you drive 500 miles to meet David?  Today I did.  Now, I was not aware that I was coming to Petersburg, KY to meet David.  I was under the impression that I was driving a van load of kids up to experience the Creation Museum tomorrow.  I thought I was hanging out with a few of the youngest members of the church…you know the indirect kind of discipleship we often miss because we are so classroom focused?  I had just about finished unloading the group’s luggage from the van onto the luggage cart when a car pulled up behind the van.  I was blocking the drive under so immediately I began wondering if I was violating some hotel parked car time limit.  We didn’t have heavy luggage…just a bunch of different bags shoved under seats and in every crevice we could find.  Out of the car stepped two men dressed in some sort of uniforms.  I avoided eye contact out of fear I was going to be asked to, “hurry up and move.”  Finally, I had everything loaded, and with the help of another parent, I began to make my way into the hotel.  It was just about then that I overheard one of the guys in uniform say that he was at the wrong hotel.  We are staying at the Comfort Suites.  He was supposed to be at the Country Inn and Suites.  He had been dropped off at the wrong hotel.  I started to make my way out to move the van when he asked me if I was running a shuttle service.  I did have a rather large van, but, no, I wasn’t  a shuttle service.  However, as I walked him out I told him I’d be happy to give him a ride.  Over the next 1/4 mile trek to his hotel I learned that he had just been laid off/fired from a job he hadn’t been working at very long.  I tried my best to connect with him as quickly as I could because I sensed there might be an opportunity to share Jesus with this hurting young man.  I asked him a general question about his relationship with God and then remembered something I’d heard Loui Giglio and others say.  Lots of people are ok talking about God…it’s when you start getting specific about the person of Jesus Christ that things get interesting.  So, I knew I had to pray for the right way to get specific.  The time came and I honed in on Jesus and His love for David specifically.  It was an opportunity 500 miles away from home that I’m glad I was given tonight.  I plan to talk to the kids in the morning about the journey we took up here today.  We miss so much along the way because we are looking ahead to the destination.  We get so focused on the leaving and arriving that the going is often neglected.  We are excited to leave on the trip and get to where we are going.  We can’t wait for the last mile.  Like the kids tonight, we can’t wait until we can see the hotel off in the distance.  The end is in sight.  Time to celebrate, shut it down, relax, retreat…finally the journey is complete.   Tonight, I found out that the most important part of my trip was the 1/4 mile after I thought I’d arrived.  The part where I met David.  I’m wondering now if I would make the drive all over again for no other reason than just to have the same encounter with the same results…a shared testimony, an encouraging word, and a promise to pray.  Reminded that Jesus traveled much further for me and overwhelmed with gratitude.  So, would you drive 500 miles to meet David?  What about 1/4 mile to meet someone God has called you to love tomorrow? 

Momma's Day

To honor my mom and the Savior of us both this Mother’s Day:

The skill to produce a beautiful bouquet of biscuits was passed on to me from my mother at a relatively early age.  I loved hanging around the kitchen when I was growing up due to the benefits.  One, I got to enjoy swipe servings before they were officially served, and two, I got to spend time with my mom.  In reality, though, I don’t celebrate Mother’s Day.  I celebrate Momma’s Day.  So, let me from here on out, refer to her appropriately.  My momma has always been one of my biggest supporters.  She hasn’t always agreed with me.  We haven’t argued outright much because pushing her isn’t productive.  No, I can only really remember one time that she was, let’s say, expressively angry with me…wait maybe there was a second time, but the details are sketchy.  I’d stayed out way later than expected and not notified her, then driven through the dark deer infested county roads of northern Walton County, FL to get home.  Shout out to Pawpaw, “You sure better watch them deer.”  Like most mommas, mine is quite protective.  She has seen me get hurt, hurt myself, hurt others, and she's been hurt by me.  Yet, she remains steadfastly in my corner.  And, that’s where I feel like I learned some of my best lessons, in a corner in the kitchen.  

In the house where I grew up, we had a small kitchen.  I didn’t know it then, but we had limited counter space.  Our refrigerator stuck out from the counter and beside it was the rack where we dried our dishes and a little small counter space that formed a small corner.  It seems like I remember standing there observing the “goings on” in the kitchen.  You are close to the sink which equaled the prep area and the stove.  I appreciate the things I learned about life and caring for myself there in that kitchen.  I also appreciate the things I learned about my mom that I never paid attention to until I became a husband.  Like the fact that she is amazingly resourceful and creative, loyal, hard-working, patient, and dedicated to being strong because being weak means you will have to expend energy you might not have.  She is also quite sacrificial.  Most of you are going to say that about your mommas this Momma’s Day, but I’d like to highlight an area where some of you are missing out on a particular blessing.

I remember the day I sat down with my parents and told them I was surrendering my life to preach the Gospel.  I was entering the ministry full-time.  I was moving away to New Orleans to attend seminary.  I didn’t know where I was going to live after I graduated.  I didn’t know where I would raise their grandchildren, if God gave us any.  I didn’t know anything.  They got the message loud and clear.  The relationship we had experienced up until that point was going to change.  I’d always planned to live in Northwest Florida, close to my parents.  And, let’s not romanticize the conversation/exchange.  They had seen me go through phases and make quick decisions.  Our family has lots of farmland that I could be enjoying, if I were living at home.  I’m missing birthday parties for nieces and nephews, lunches with my sisters, free babysitting from two sets of able bodied grandparents, and double dates with my parents.  So, after ten years to the month since we left for New Orleans, I can see with greater clarity what our Lord Jesus Christ was saying when He said, 

³⁷ Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. ³⁸ And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. ³⁹ Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.  Matthew 10:37-39

My momma and I have sacrificed a lot for the ministry, and like I do on most Momma’s Days since I’ve “become a preacher,”  I will remind her of how much I know she’s given up for the kingdom of God.  Regardless of how “successful” I am in ministry, I can only trust that the six hours from DeFuniak Springs, FL is divinely strategic.

  

Lastly, I don’t want you to click on another link and think something inaccurate.  I am not claiming some elevated status of discipleship here.  What I’m hoping to leave you with is a challenge.  I understand how important families are.  I grew up in one of the most close knit that I know.  I also know, that now days, families are stretched incredibly thin.  A person’s relationship with Jesus is not receiving adequate attention.  Therefore, the family unit is breaking down.  We can’t love each other in the family context if we aren’t loving the lover of our souls.  Since we are failing to love our immediate families well, we are also failing to love other families well.  The support, encouragement, guidance needed in today’s world is being replaced with ungodly and secular sources because mommas and daddies are too busy, too tired, too disinterested, or too scared to pick up an infection to commit to a local Body of Christ and regularly attend.  With that said, I’m praying for mommas tomorrow.  I’m praying that the whole family will make a sacrifice for momma and do whatever needs to be done to see that she has the opportunity to be spiritually fed in the morning.  The presents, cards, phone calls, and meals can wait until after the local worship service of your choice.

Finally, please consider your pastor tomorrow.  Recently, I was at a pastor’s meeting in our area and there were approximately seventeen of us there.  Including me, there were only two pastor’s with family a significant distance away from Barrow County.  I don’t know if that is typical, but regardless, I’ll bet your pastor is missing his momma.  Bethabra Baptist Church has been awesome to me in the area of time off.  However, Sundays off can pile up in a small church setting and there are so many more holidays now than there used to be.  Your pastor, if he is anything like me, will look out at you tomorrow and be extremely grateful for the family God has provided in lieu of the one into which he was born.  But, it still won’t be the same.  He’s following Christ…leading you…and missing momma. 

²⁹ “I assure you,” Jesus said, “there is no one who has left house, brothers or sisters, mother or father, children, or fields because of Me and the gospel, ³⁰ who will not receive 100 times more, now at this time—houses, brothers and sisters, mothers and children, and fields, with persecutions—and eternal life in the age to come. ³¹ But many who are first will be last, and the last first.  Mark 10:37-31

Happy Momma’s Day Mary Louisa Frymire!

Why James and Silas? Part II

Silas Emmett Frymire

     

Well, seeing how perfectly our first plan worked out we planned to have a less detailed plan the second time…you could say that Bethany and I are a little headstrong.  You know how it is right?  When you know you should just trust God, you try to use some of that ole reverse psychology on the Creator of the Universe.  We had always talked about having a second child.  I’m pretty sure it was on my list of things to talk about on our second date.  The timing of getting pregnant with our second baby was thrown off in 2013 when we discovered that Bethany had some physiological abnormalities that related to the inner workings of a system that most everyone automatically assumes is functioning normally if a woman is able to breathe, eat, drink, sleep, have intercourse, and is under 35 years of age.  Yes, I said abnormalities on purpose.  Bethany is ok with it or you would not have read it. So, we could see that this would be no ordinary decision to have a baby and 5 weeks later get confirmation.  It actually took 2 years, a pair of surgeries, help from two specialists, one with a degree and One with the authority to speak a galaxy into existence, to receive that long awaited double red line.

     With James, we knew before he was conceived the name we would use for our first born male child.  With the second baby, do you just go back to the list of passed over names for the first?  That’s not really my style, so we embarked on a process that included prayer and conversations over meals at places like the OK Cafe to narrow down the list of possible names.  We wanted the name to have meaning.  We also were leaning toward a name found in the Bible.  It was not a requirement, but just something Bethany and I thought would be cool.  One thing that was required was a name with less notoriety.  If the name was too high on the popular names list it was significantly lowered on our list of possible names.  When I was little, there were no other Landons.  Oh, I forgot to mention up in James’ section that his middle name is Landon because my first name is Landon.  Sorry to leave you hanging.  But now, due to my fame and unmistakable influence on our society, the name Landon has become much more commonplace.  There just wasn’t a name that jumped off the screen as we perused the unpopular male baby names for 2014. That’s when I shared a name that had been floating around in my head for several weeks.

     It was a Wednesday night when James came running up the preschool hall at church after his discipleship class.  He seemed particularly excited to tell me about the story they had just studied.  Incidentally, while your children are young, one of the most important things you can do is demonstrate a genuine interest in what your child is learning about God.  Stop what you’re doing, kneel down, and look at the construction paper creation that seems to make no sense at all and begin validating the importance of what they are doing at church.  James said the Bible story was about “Paul and Syruss" (Sigh - russ).  Of course what James meant to say was Paul and Silas.  That night they had studied Acts 16:16-40, particularly focusing on the deliverance from their prison chains by a mighty earthquake.  There was just something about the way James said the name Silas that stuck with me - something about the interest he took in the story.  I agreed that the story was awesome and reinforced the truth of God’s extraordinary power and busted out with a full rendition of Awesome God complete with sign language and hand movements from the late 90’s (just kidding but that would have been awesome).  So, the seed had been planted, and over the next few weeks, it would grow and eventually be confirmed through prayer that Silas would be the name of our second little boy.

    As I studied the history of the man named Silas in the New Testament, I became more and more convinced that God was sending us a Silas for a reason.  Silas is an oft forgotten character in the modern church.  Many recall him being present in the Philippian jail with Paul, but we are seldom exposed to his relationships with the other apostles.  We are first introduced to Silas, or Silvanus, as it is represented in Latin, in Acts 15:22.  He was described as a “leading man among the brothers.”  He was considered to be an important figure in the Jerusalem church.  The significance of this seemingly insignificant fact is the Jerusalem Church was led by a man named…wait for it…James.  The half-brother of Jesus played an important part in confirming the Lordship of Jesus to a people who were struggling with the concept of a suffering and rejected Messiah.  After all, it wasn’t until after Jesus’ death and resurrection that he believed his brother.  Silas served and led under James’ leadership before being sent out to accompany Paul on his second missionary journey.  Silas would work with Paul in the cities of Philippi, Thessalonica, Berea, and Corinth.  He is mentioned by Paul with Timothy as a part of the trio that worked their way across Asia Minor strengthening churches in 1 Thessalonians 1:1 and 2 Thessalonians 1:1.  His last appearance is made in 1 Peter.  Some scholars believe that Silas spent significant time with Peter in North Asia.  That would make 3 apostles having Silas as a helper and support.  This is where the story concludes and when I show you the verse I think you will understand.  Silas was obviously a very gifted man.  He was said to be well gifted in the languages.  He knew how to influence men.  He gave his life to serving the Messiah.  His love for Jesus enabled him to serve without the spotlight and focus.  He lived out his faith, and by doing so, the men you do remember were used to record the greatest and most influential letters ever written.  So, how did Silas live out his faith?  By being a good brother.  He sacrificed, persevered, and suffered not only for the sake of his Savior but also for his brothers.  He sat chained to his brother, Paul, in that Philippian jail.  He was beaten along with Paul for his participation and active role in preaching the Gospel (Acts 14:4, 2 Corinthians 1:19).  He fled Thessalonica with Paul when the angry mob threatened and was later chased down by that same angry mob in Berea. I could go on, but I think you get the picture.  Silas was an awesome man used by God to support and encourage his brothers.  There aren’t many things I want more than to witness my boys supporting each other as they attempt to boldly follow Jesus in an increasingly unsupportive world.  I want to hear of their passionate defense of the other, to see them disagree but graciously sacrifice for the other, to support each other with a love not only present because they share the same parents, but because they have submitted to the only One with the authority to call them out as men with a divinely ordained purpose.  God knew that Paul would need help, so He sent him Silas.  Peter, yes even the “Rock”, needed a faithful brother.  And, of course, God didn’t forget about James.

¹² With the help of Silas, whom I regard as a faithful brother, I have written to you briefly, encouraging you and testifying that this is the true grace of God. Stand fast in it.

1 Peter 5:12 

Why James and Silas?

     We’ve had a lot of comments about the naming of our new son this week.  Everyone has been so responsive.  I was actually able to have an encouraging conversation with my son’s pediatric nurse Patsy on Monday morning about the name of our newborn who was actually familiar with the man who inspired us to name him what we did.  I’m a pretty sentimental man, so I’d like to share with you the thinking that went into naming not only the newest member of our family, but also our first-born son James.

James Landon Frymire

¹⁷Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning. 

James 1:17

We had a plan.  Bethany and I were going to wait five years and then conceive our first child.  It was one piece of our marriage plan that we thought we could control.  We are obviously not against the use of contraception.  The trouble with plans, however, is that the most usually change.  It could be a minute detail or a total and complete 180 degree turn.  But, our Father has a way of revealing a will that is far more appropriate even if we tend to deem it uncomfortable or inconvenient.  So, in 2008 when we were supposed to be having our first child we were instead engaged in a fight for our marriage.  The details are far to numerous to disclose in this offering, but I’m sure they will come along at some point in this new writing experience.  In a nutshell (random Austin Powers visual now parades through my mind…sorry!), I’m a recovering sex addict.  Yes, I know…even I begin trying to clarify and qualify that statement as I hear it spoken from my lips.  But, that is not the point here, just a detail.  My sin landed us in counseling with a brilliant and Holy Spirit filled man named James Eubanks.  He was, I think, the Director of Pastoral Counseling at First Baptist Woodstock in 2007 at the time of my confession.  There were many pain filled, yet freedom giving sessions with James.  It was during this time that I began to walk in the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, albeit with a considerable limp[shout out to an aquaintenancefriend(yes I did that on purpose) Sy Rogers].  The last half of 2007 through early 2009 were critical to my now present ministry.  My Heavenly Father healed significant wounds, beliefs were corrected, and behaviors began to more reflect the reality of my relationship with Jesus Christ.  Bethany, through the grace of God, forgave me and our relationship began to function in such a way that a child would be a blessing not a project or distraction from our own relational dysfunction.  So, to tie it all back to “The Plan”, God knew that it would take more than 5 years to prepare my heart to father a son.  I am so thankful for His forbearance, faithfulness, and forgiveness.  Just before we “graduated” from counseling Bethany and I decided that our first born son would bear the name of the man who was so instrumental in reshaping and discipling me into the man God had created me to be.  So, on June 21, 2010 we named our precious little boy James.  And just to show you how much our Father loves the families we are born into, the name James is represented on both sides of our family by some incredible men (James Edward Wise, Bethany’s Father, & James William Johnson or J.W. or Bill as my loving and greatly missed uncle was named, thus providing us a way to honor many great men in our lives).

Read about Silas Emmett Frymire tomorrow.